=;Pete's POV;=

"Are you okay?" Rach has been pacing around for the past thirty minutes already. Her hair is tied up in a high ponytail, the straight locks flinging around as she continues back and forth. Her glove covered hands kept stretching and stroking her chin. "I am. Just a tad nervous."

I raise a brow at that, my gaze never leaving her. "What? We're in Chicago. It's our first show for the latest tour. You're gonna rock their world." I smiled brightly, taking a sip of water and relaxing on the dressing room's black sofa. We're both waiting for our stylists and the rack of clothes so we could get ready for the show. We have one hour left.

"I know… But that's just it. Do you think they'll warm up to the idea of you guys having me up there? I feel like I'm intruding on thin ice."

I chuckle. She's really that cute, all worried and anxious and scared at the same time. She's really something. "They will. If it means us being better in playing live, who wouldn't want that?"

She stopped pacing around, and smiled. "That's what he said to me." Rach sat down beside me, her eyes filled with joy. "David? Well, he is right." I took one final swig of water before I put it on the coffee table. Where are those people? Fifty nine minutes left till show time. "Yeah." She hugged me. She is fucking hugging me right now. This is the third time we hugged, but it felt… I felt whole. It just feels so wonderful because I never want it to end. It's ridiculous… I stroked her back, getting little creases from her black shirt. Then I let go. I let go first. We were still smiling.

"I still feel nervous though. Uhmm… Our first song starts with an A minor A-7 right?" I chuckle at that, and she smiled wider. "I learned that joke from Sebastien. He always kept us laughing by playing dumb before shows. He's my most energetic best friend - helped me through a lot." I patted her knee. I sort of noticed that guys are mostly her best friends. Good thing or bad thing, I'm not sure.

"Don't take this the wrong way… Why all boys?" I'm sure she knows what I mean. "I do have girls for friends and best friends. Just didn't see them often after I graduated. Sometimes I do, but we're all too busy. Some of my best friends are back in my home country, so yeah." She giggled. "I'm just glad we keep in touch, if only a few times." Show me who you're friends are and I'll tell you who you are… I think that's reading too much into things about her.

Then her face became serious, contemplating. "Maybe we shouldn't be best friends…" It seems that she's talking more to herself than me. Her mouth turned into a slight pout and her brows subtly clouded her wide eyes. My eyes popped up and my mouth fell. "W-why? Did I do something wrong?"

She bit lip and shook her head. "There does seem to be a pattern with my friends… So maybe we should just be friends? If that makes sense…" I feel like she just broke up with me. I know it's nothing like that, but I feel lonely all of a sudden. "So… no more Peach?" She looked at me with sorry eyes. "You can call me that if you want."

I let out a heavy breath. This is not a good way to start a show…

"I want you to be my close friend." She said, her voice wrapped with sincerity. I looked at her deep honey brown eyes, a perfect reflection of Ryan.

"Why?" I looked away, afraid of getting in too deep than I already am. "Because I feel safe around you… like I can tell you anything. And I want you to feel the same." A small smile found its way on my lips. "And that's breaking your tradition?" I grinned.

We laughed softly. "I always want you to be around."

...

The crew already helped fix my look and Rach found good clothes to match for me to wear. "Pete… Can Rachelle wear your hoodie? This one?" One of the crew member asked me as he took my blue Clandestine hoodie with the white pockets off the rack.

"What happened to her clothes?" I hope everything is alright in her department. We really can't afford to be behind schedule and keep them waiting.

"It's nothing. Just thought it'd be a good idea." My eyebrow quirked, my head tilting a little at the side.

Let me weigh the pros and cons here. The second one pawns. "I don't think that's a good idea." I faked fixing my hair, checking myself in the mirror.

"Oh? Care to elaborate? You know, since it's like fully welcoming her to Fall Out Boy." The crew member flashed a smile and I grinned, shaking my head. "Okay. If any rumors stir up, I'm gonna say it's your fault."

He laughed, waving his hand like it's nothing. "You mean more ambiguity?" He folded my hoodie on his right arm and hung back the hanger on the steel rack. He eyed more of my clothes, calculating. "Chester, don't tell me you're gonna make her wear all my clothes."

He doubled up, almost falling on his feet. "Sorry. It'd be interesting to see, but yeah, that's pushing it." He held up his hand and smiled once again. "Okay, bye Ches, I'm gonna ready myself." He nodded and skidded away.

"Best friends, ex-friends till the end, better off as lovers and not the other way around…"



*



"It feels good to be home." Patrick beamed at everyone and I chuckled in the microphone. "Anything wrong Pete?" Patrick looked back at me and I smiled wider. "Absolutely nothing." I winked back, making the audience lose it.

I love the feel of everything right now, the lights and sounds, the fans and their wonderful imaginations. Patrick rolled his eyes while turning his back to the audience. He went over to me and leaned on my ear. "Do we always have to do this before we play Saturday?"

I grinned and tucked some of his blonde locks behind his ear. "It's our little secret."

Patrick looked back at me, stifling his laughter. We always whisper stupid stuff for the sake of being best friends. "Try and make things easier for me okay?" Patrick chuckled, ruffling my raven hair. "How?" I pout. Everyone is screaming their lungs out. I can feel Rachelle's eyes on us, and I can see her hidden smile. "I don't know… Pretend to teach bes your crazy stunts or something along those lines." That's the best thing Patrick's said to me in awhile. "Yeah. Saw her stage jump on YouTube…" I mumble and Patrick nodded happily. "Okay, let's play 'our song' and get it over with Panda." Patrick chuckled and gave me a hug. I rested my head on his shoulder and I didn't think I'd ever heard this sort of lung power from teenagers… "Thanks Tricky." He let go and gave Rach a look. I wish I could be in the loop. Seems that they still understand each other after all these years.

When Patrick went back to his mic. and started the introduction before the song, I glanced at Rach and she didn't even try hiding her smile this time. Then she batted her eyes, letting her index finger touch her hip. Her lips moved with a smirk. "Peterick… Sss…" She giggled and wiggled her brows. Oh yeah, we're still hot. I nodded with a toothy grin.

"Good luck out there." Rach gave her guitar to one of the roadies and I gave my bass to her. "I'll be fine. Hey, I really like my hoodie on you." And that's when she blushed. I'm sure she gets a lot of compliments and sweet words thrown at her, but she's still not used to it. "Yeah, yeah. Just get out there and prepare to be ripped apart." I chuckle and scanned the audience.

"I'm good to go, and I'm going nowhere fast…" This will be my first time to sing a full song with Patrick. I feel that I'll be alright. I'm just working up the crowd until it's time for Derek to hold me and let the fans touch me. It's nice to know I give them a reason to be happy…

...

After the song, we went backstage and changed our shirts. Oh, and we're also trying to catch our breaths. "Ahh! They're so great!" Rach clutched my hoodie where the top of her heart is with an awed look on her face. Chicago, we still love you, and we always will.

"Hey guys hear that?" Joe grinned and punched the air with his fist. "Encore?" Andy clicked his drumsticks and we all nodded. "Usually that's our last song, but since we're trying to change it up a little…" Patrick shrugged. We all know there's a hint of pleasure in there somewhere. "National anthem!" I shout, taking Rachelle's hand and sprinting forward the stage. Give out all your diamonds… "Someone's excited…" She giggled.

My lined eyes shone with anticipation. "Let's give them something they won't forget."

And that's what we did.


...


"Hey. So who's this one for?" I ask the girl who gave me our CD booklet to sign. "Make it out to my friend Gil." I nodded and signed it quickly.

When I shook her hand, she squeaked a little. I think it's cute when girls try to hide their star struck feelings. I wouldn't mind at all. You should have seen me when I first went to a Green Day concert. Everyone knows they're one of my most biggest influences.

"Uh… Is Ms. Lewis anywhere near here?" A blonde boy asked me, looking everywhere at once. "You mean Rachelle? Yeah, she's here. Wanna see her?" I smiled brightly. "Would I!" The boy giddily nodded and took hold of his girlfriend's hand. "Take it easy…" The girl mumbled.

When I led them back to the dressing room, I took notice of what they're wearing. Wow, must be a big fan of Peach. They're wearing her clothes all over. It's very nice. Hey… There's a tic-tac-toe on the back of the guy's hoodie. Punk and humorous.

"Hey Pete!" Joe opened the door for us and waved at the two teens following me. "Nice package dude." Patrick smiled and I turned to look at the blonde guy again. He's carrying a silver blue wrapped box. "Is she here?" He looked nervous.

I chuckle. It's like he doesn't have his girlfriend with him. "Who's here?" Rach emerged from the bathroom, her makeup is removed except for her eyeliner and metallic black eyeshadow. She still looks beautiful.

"Ma'm! Remember me?" The boy bounded over in front of her, his girlfriend trailing behind with a giggle. Rach eyed them for a moment then her lips curled up. "Rex and Mae?" The two teens beamed and nodded giddily. "Hey! How have you guys been? I knew those faces were familiar on the mosh pit."

"It was awesome! You rocked!" Rex smiled widely and Mae nudged his side mumbling. "Hellooo… I'm right here." Rach blushed and shrugged. "Anyway, what are you guys doing here? I said New York shows are free…" Rach twirled her hair, her brows creasing a little.

Wow. I never would have thought she'd give free stuff just like that. I wonder why… "Oh uhm… That's why we need you to open this." Mae grabbed the box from Rex and handed it to Rachelle with a smile. "Okay." She giggled and sat down next to Andy on the sofa. She motioned for the younger couple to sit on the love seat facing the couch. "I smell vanilla." Andy said, not prying his eyes away from his new book. I never took my eyes off of Peach.

"What's this about?" Patrick whispered as we were still standing near the door. "No idea." I whisper back. Sure, I'd love to give her a gift, but I had nothing to with it. "Then what did Andy say mean?" Patrick ruffled his hair, his cerulean orbs glinting confusion. "Just because vanilla is one of my favorite scents doesn't mean it's me." I chuckle softly. Pat shook his head with a laugh. As I looked back at Trick, I hear the wrapping being torn gently.

"A sweater?" Joe sat next to Andy on the armrest. We all looked at Rach, holding up the sweater. "There's a note in there somewhere." Rex pointed the box, tapping his finger twice. Mae giggled at her boyfriend's action. I guess she thinks it's cute. "Right." Rach folded the ocean blue cashmere sweater and placed it on her lap. She took out a small white card from the box, her fingers running on the sharp edges of the paper.

"Don't ever think I'm away from you. I'll always be with you. I'll keep you warm and safe. Just keep your faith in me. Much love, sweater." Rach giggled and Mae and Rex laughed. "So that's what it is." Mae shook her head with a smile, as I frowned.

"He is so lame." Joe laughed, patting Rachelle's back, leaning on Andy as he did so. "Who, sweater?" Andy rolled his eyes with a smirk. She nuzzled her face in the cloth. "It smells like him…" Her voice is laced with love and bliss. My heart fell.

I have to be happy, I have to…

"Thanks guys." Rach smiled at the couple, her eyes slightly glazed with tears. "Don't thank us. Ryan did all the work." Mae grinned and rested her hand on Rex' arm. "We're just messengers here. Oh! And he said to say, and I quote, 'Good luck on your your first tour with the guys. Blow them away and… No, no wait. Not blow, she's gonna laugh. Just the first one will do,' unquote." We all laughed at Ryan's idiotic rambling. Guy seems to be losing his tricks with words sometimes.

"Ryan really outdid himself, didn't he?" Patrick patted my shoulder and I mustered all of my strength to keep the smile evident on my face. "Yeah." Patrick looked at me awhile longer and nodded.


*


After we celebrated over at my house, we got back on the bus to call it a night. My mom was very fond of Rach when she met her. Mom says she gives off a positive aura and that she's real. I couldn't agree more. I wish dad was there. He went out with my sibllings just for fun. I really want her to meet my family…

When we got back on the bus, Rach quickly took off my blue hoodie and went to the bathroom, clutching the cashmere sweater along with some boy shorts.

I sighed heavily and went to the bunk area as well, stripping off any item and replaced them with a white shirt and some clean boxers. I stowed away my clothes in the hamper of the bus beside the bathroom and closed the lid and the tiny door. I hear the water running and a slow humming. I could barely hear it but I know she's happy. The way her voice hit the right notes, the way her smooth lips would light up her face, the way her eyes burned with flames of life, of hope, and of love…

These cursed feet dragged me towards the small kitchen of the bus. My hands gripped the edges of the sink tightly. I turned the tap on and let my fingers be casted upon with cold water. The numbness set in so I splashed some on my face and the back of my neck. The coldness calmed my blood, my eyes can't help but to close.

Her eyes burn my skin, latching onto it, never fading. She's more permanent that tattoos, much more stronger than ink. I shook my head to clear it. I fucking need sleep. This is getting to be too much for one night.


That's what I am to her, my blue hoodie. She only wore it because she was told to. That's all I am to her. As soon as she sees Ryan, she forgets all about me and replaces the hoodie with a stupid sweater. A fucking gorgeous cerulean cashmere sweater. I sprinted off to my bunk, across from hers. Andy and Joe share a much bigger bunk on top of mine while Patrick has the other big bunk, his laptops and gadgets securely in place if ever Cobra needs help. His is on top of Rachelle's.

When I pull the covers all the way up to my shoulders, I hear her silently stepping out of the bathroom and made her way to her bunk. Her space creaked a little as she laid on it. "Goodnight Pete…" She whispered with a yawn. "Sweet dreams…" I whisper. I don't know if she heard me.



*



Five days have gone and that sweater keeps haunting me. After every show, I see it hanging on her chair. The second the lights go out she quickly sets off backstage, hastily cleaning herself, then she wears it. We've had three shows and she already wore that thing three times. Apart from that, every time I overhear her phone calls with Ryan, my face pales. My fists tighten and all the thoughts in my head disappears.


...


After two weeks, I got used to it. The calls became less frequent and more bearable. But maybe because she pays more attention to me these days. We always have a two day break. Well, more like one since we do soundcheck a day before the show. It's all hard work, but no one's complaining.

She calms me whenever we cuddle on the couch after a tiring day. "So… He asked if I could go over to Seattle and see him. I'll be back after what he's planned is done…"

I closed my eyes and focused on her voice and her fingers rubbing circles on my arm. "Okay. Go and have fun." The words came out easier than I imagined.


But maybe it's because her fingers felt like rose petals on my marked skin…